ADAM’S HANDS’ LESS THAN EPIC ADVENTURES

7. “What the hell were you thinking, sneaking up on me like that?”

Blaine has never been good at resisting temptations.

When he was in first grade, Mrs. Bellemare gave everybody ten candies, all wrapped up in the cutest, most colorful paper Blaine had ever seen. The fruit and sugar smell was so strong it drenched the air, making it almost sticky and sweet enough for Blaine to feel the taste on his tongue.

The candies were supposed to make it easier for them to learn about additions and subtractions, and Mrs. Bellemare had been very clear in saying they weren’t supposed to be eaten, except one that she would let them choose during the break. There was one, though, a strawberry flavored candy wrapped in black, purple-spotted paper, that Blaine couldn’t resist to. The smell was so strong and good it kept catching his attention, and in a little while that smell was all he could think about. The numbers Mrs. Bellemare was talking about stopped making sense, the only thing he wanted was to unwrap that candy and eat it, suck at it, feel it melt on his tongue. He could already taste it in his mouth, and he couldn’t stop stomping his feet on the ground nervously in anticipation.

He wanted to wait for the break, he really did, but it was either eating the candy right there or go crazy counting every single second to the bell ringing, something that could prove particularly difficult considering that, at the time, he didn’t know how to count past fifty and it was still at least two hours before the break.

He had eaten the candy right there. He had unwrapped it, put it in his mouth and put his rubber inside the paper, so that it seemed the candy was still there when it wasn’t. During the break, when Mrs. Bellemare had asked him to choose one of his candies to eat and give the others back to her, he could have lied to save his own ass. He could have chosen the candy he had already eaten and nobody would ever have noticed, but there was another candy, a banana flavored one wrapped in blue papers with small unicorns and rainbows printed on it, and he wanted to eat that too. So he chose that, and left his rubber wrapped in black and purple-spotted paper to his teacher.

Of course she had found out, and he was scolded for disobeying and lying.

He had never regretted it, though, nor he had changed in the slightest in the years to come, to be honest.

Leo was another temptation he just wasn’t able to resist. The teenage son of his high school sweetheart, somebody he should have stayed well far off, and yet, when the occasion presented itself, when Leo basically threw himself at him, made desperate by years of yearning and an unmistakable need to just throw the unbearable weight of his own unexpressed fantasies off his shoulders, despite knowing it wasn’t the right thing to do, Blaine still let it happen.

He should’ve passed, he should’ve told Leo “you know what, kid? I know what you’re going through, I get that you’ve been aching for it for years already, but I’m not the right person, I’m too old, you’re too young, it’s not safe for either of us, let’s just not go there”, but the kid smelled too good, he tasted too sweet, he was just too damn inviting to decline the offer, just like that candy. And, just like with the candy, when the offer was repeated – again and again, so much that it soon became an habit – he should’ve covered his ass and say “no, thanks”, but of course he couldn’t. Temptations aren’t so easy to avoid when you’re not used to deprive yourself.

So, when Adam disappears into the bathroom, the moral question actually rises in Blaine’s mind. They’ve been sharing a lot, the kid and him, in the last few days, he’s sure that, if Adam wanted to share this too, he wouldn’t have minded jacking himself off right there on that stool, so it’s pretty clear he just wanted to have a moment for himself, to do that privately. This of course makes it easy for Blaine to realize he shouldn’t go spying on him.

But then again, temptations. Adam’s one, Adam’s definitely one. It’s not as if Blaine wouldn’t have dozens of men just waiting for him to grace them with a glimpse of his cock, if he just wanted to bother walking out the door and look around. It’s just that he finds Adam so much more interesting than any of them.

He’s used to have men throwing themselves at him. Sad as it is to say that about the person he loved the most in his entire life, Leo was the same too. In his childish eyes there was the same kind of desperate hunger Blaine reads in the eyes of every man he walks by when he steps in a club or in a pub. They all look at him that way, they undress him with their eyes, they fantasize about him and they don’t even make an effort to hide it.

Adam’s always been different, he has always looked at him with different eyes. And though once there was only contempt in them, even back then Blaine could see that, sometimes, something different leaked in through the walls of hate Adam had built inside his mind.

Sometimes Adam just looked at him as if he was a picture he was already drawing in his head. And Blaine can’t say it didn’t feel amazing to be looked like that for real while Adam was sketching him just a few moments before.

Blaine takes a couple of moments to himself to drink some water and put an old t-shirt on. Passing by the kitchen, he notices it’s almost lunchtime. Adam’s probably not going to stay, but he could still try and make something to eat. Maybe some pasta, or a couple of sandwiches if there’s enough food in the refrigerator. Maybe, if he can manage to put his mind into something practical, he’ll stop thinking about Adam jerking off in the bathroom.

He walks to the refrigerator and opens it, peeking inside. No sounds come from the bathroom and he doesn’t know how to take this. He shouldn’t even think about it, of course, but still the complete lack of noises somehow makes him more curious to know what’s going on behind that door. Of course, he admits with a smirk, it wouldn’t be any different if Adam was screaming at the top of his lungs instead of being so silent and discreet. Deep inside, Blaine knows he’s just looking for excuses. He thinks he only wants to take a peek because of the silence, his conscience tells him he would want to take a peek even if there were noises, deep inside he just knows this has nothing to do with silence and noises whatsoever, he just wants to look at Adam.

So, after another couple of minutes of watching his curiosity quarrel against his moral in a faker fight than the ones he watches on the WWE, he just slams the refrigerator door closed and walks to the bathroom.

It’s amusing, though unexpected, to find the door half closed instead of locked from the inside. Adam’s shyness is world famous, so the fact that he actually left the door open means that he probably was in a hurry to stick his hands down his own pants. Or that he feels comfortable enough not to lock doors, in here. Or a combination of both.

Anyway, Blaine doesn’t waste more than thirty seconds thinking about the meaning of this open door. He’s just thankful it’s been left this way, because it makes it all the more easy for him to take a peek.

Adam’s standing there, one hand closed hard around the curvy edge of the white porcelain sink and the other wrapped firmly around himself. He’s stroking himself quickly, his lips parted and barely wet, only the softest, faintest moans escaping his mouth. No wonder Blaine couldn’t hear anything from the kitchen, he can barely hear anything from where he’s standing, even though Adam’s only inches away from him.

The movements of Adam’s hand quicken up all of a sudden. Blaine sees Adam’s teeth sink into his bottom lip, making it red and swollen almost instantly, and then his hand starts to move up and down faster, his knuckles almost white from how tight his grip is. The moans escaping Adam’s lips lose the softness that was making them almost melodious and turn into rougher, deeper growls, speaking a language Blaine’s more used to understand, a language his body seems made for recognizing. Those are the sounds he longs to hear coming out from a man’s lips, those restless, confused, grunting whispers men make when pleasure start to take over their presence of mind and they stop to bother about how ridiculous and animalistic they’ll sound if they lose control.

Amazing things can come from men who let themselves go with the flow when it comes to sex. If Blaine knows anything, it’s this. Because he experiences it himself daily, and it’s something he’d rather die than lose.

Ultimately, when he thinks about how and why he and Leo broke up, that’s probably the real reason hidden underneath the pile of shit they both shoveled onto each other for months before giving up. They had started out having sex with a different spirit. It was playful, it was somewhat meaningless, it was hot and rough and immature and stupid, and they had the time of their life. Then love came, as it usually does when you stick around enough for it to put down roots, and that drew the fire out of them. In time, that fire just went out, and Blaine couldn’t stand it, and Leo, which Blaine had unconsciously and carelessly shaped after himself for years, couldn’t stand it either.

It’s that kind of fire that makes Adam so attractive now. He’s new and raw and smells and feels untouched just as Leo did the first time Blaine laid hands on him.

When it comes to it, Blaine probably just has to admit no love relationship ever worked in his life because he never wanted one to. Sex is easier, simpler. Doesn’t need much adjusting. It’s there, you take it, you don’t change anything of yourself or your life to make room for it. Sex takes you and then gives you back to yourself unchanged the morning after. It consumes you, and then you’re born again, but when you wake up you’re still yourself. You can start again, from the top, and repeat the same things, the same gestures, the same habits every night. No amount of sex can change you in the least – one day living with your lover will change you forever.

That’s just it. Adam’s body is speaking a language Blaine’s body has been aching to hear for years, already. The simple, easy need burning out of mindless, inconsequential lust. And so it’s no wonder to feel the same hunger, the same need arise in himself too when, for the first time since puberty, he manages to get a hard-on after such a short time from the last.

His skin is still oversensitive, when he touches it, and stroking himself, because of this, is almost as painful as it’s pleasant, but it feels good, overall. It’s just the kind of feeling he was searching for. It brings him back to when sex was stupid, when his best friend and him would jerk each other off to release some tension without having to worry about the consequence that knowing each other’s bodies so well could bring in their lives, in their relationship. It brings him back to when he could close his eyes, lie down on his bed and jerk off three times in an hour and still feel the need for more. It wasn’t completely pleasant back then either, sometimes it straight out hurt, even, but it was needed. He needed to feel helpless and tired and emptied out, he needed to fall limp on his bed and breathe so hard he was scared his parents could hear him from the other side of the house.

His mind is back to that moment of his life when he was reckless enough to search for pleasure at all costs, even if it could bring him problems, even if it could mean making a poor show of himself.

Which is why, when Adam’s about to come and suddenly changes position, probably tired of clinging that desperately to the sink, making it impossible for Blaine to keep looking at him easily, Blaine doesn’t care that he could be discovered; he just pushes himself forward a bit, leaning against the door to try and take another glimpse of Adam’s hardness disappearing between his fingers, and he completely forgets, despite it being obvious, that the half-open door can’t bear his weight without opening in full.

Making him trip and fall on Adam suddenly and heavily enough to press him against the wall.

“The fuck—” Adam gasps, lifting both his arms and pressing his hands against the tiled wall not to hit it with his face, “Blaine?!”

“I’m sorry!” Blaine yells, suddenly aware of his own ridiculousness and embarrassed like he’s never been in his whole life, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to!” he says, pulling himself away from Adam and lifting both his hands too in preemptive surrender.

“What— What the hell were you thinking, sneaking up on me like that?!” Adam barks, turning around and pressing his back against the wall in a desperate try to get as far away from him as he possibly can, “Shit— Are you completely out of your mind?! Pervert!”

“I said I’m sorry,” Blaine repeats, his eyes dropping down at Adam’s hands, fumbling with his pants to pull them up and cover himself, despite the aborted orgasm that left him still hard and unsatisfied, “Adam, listen, I was just—”

“I know exactly what you were doing!” Adam snorts, pushing him away from himself. Blaine backs off a couple of steps, struggling to keep himself steady on his legs. “I should’ve never come here in first place! I should’ve never trusted you! You’re nothing but a pig, you disgust me!”

“Adam!” Blaine calls out, opening his arms in bewilderment and moving back closer to him, “Would you just calm down? You’re—” he frowns as he notices tears of rage and embarrassment pooling in the corner of Adam’s eyes, “Adam, for Christ’s sake!” he cries out, putting his hands on Adam’s shoulders, “Calm down, already!”

“Let me go!” Adam shouts, trying to wriggle away from his grasp, “I said let me go!”

“Not until you’ve calmed down and we’ve discussed this!” Blaine insists, keeping him still against the wall.

“What’s to discuss about it?!” Adam growls, horrified, pressing his forearms against Blaine’s chest to keep him away, “What could you possible say that could make me change my mind on you spying on me like a fucking pervert when I clearly fucking wanted to be left alone?!”

And, as Adam asks, Blaine realizes that the answer is nothing. There’s nothing he can say to appear under a different light. Adam and him had an arrangement, and he just broken the only rule they hadn’t written down, because none of them ever thought something like that would happen.

There’s nothing he can say, but there’s one last thing he can do before watching Adam walk out of his house and his life in far worse terms than he had hoped for, and so he leans in, presses him against the wall to keep him still and kisses him hard, tilting his head to make the kiss even deeper when the demanding thrusts of his tongue manage to break through the resistance of Adam’s lips.

“No,” Adam murmurs against Blaine’s lips, his forearms pressing steadily against Blaine’s chest, “Let me go,” his voice nothing but a whisper as he stubbornly tries and keep his hips as far as possible from Blaine’s, embarrassed by his still raging hard-on.

“God, would you just shut up,” Blaine manages to say, his words muffled by the proximity of Adam’s lips. He lets his hands run down along Adam’s sides quite quickly, pressing them against Adam’s hips to prevent him from moving away. Then he just jerks his hips forward, and the moment they collide against Adam’s he feels him literally melt between his arms.

Adam lets go of a liquid, desperate moan, his arms reaching out for Blaine’s neck, wrapping themselves around it, clinging to it as he rubs himself against Blaine. “That’s not fair,” he says in a low, almost breaking voice. Blaine knows it’s right, but he’s so hard it’s almost painful to bear, and he doesn’t care for right or wrong, now. Judging by the way he moves, despite all the fuss he’s making, neither does Adam, and that’s just enough for Blaine not to feel guilty as he pulls Adam’s pants down and grabs his cock, stroking it quickly.

Adam’s whole body shakes with a wild shiver the moment Blaine’s fingers start to touch him. He moans loudly, his lips clashing against Blaine’s in more of a messy bite than a kiss. Blaine doesn’t even expect him to touch him back, he’s prepared to just jerk him off as some sort of an apology and come by rubbing himself against him, or even jerking himself off once Adam’s gone, so he’s both surprised and pleased when one of Adam’s hands quickly leaves his neck and rushes to his crotch, slipping past the waistband of his pants and trying to reach for his cock, struggling for a couple of moments before understanding he’s never going to get there until he strips him off his clothes.

“God,” Blaine exhales, pressing himself desperately against Adam’s hands as the younger man tugs at his pants, managing to unbutton them and push them down Blaine’s thighs, leaving him bare for just a couple of seconds, the only time he needs to wrap his fingers around him and stroke him at the same pace Blaine’s stroking him.

They don’t speak another word, after that. The bathroom’s silence quickly fills with the echo of their moans, grunts and gasps as they pull at each other, cling to each other, stroke each other faster and faster, now completely careless for why and how they ended up pressed against the bathroom wall masturbating each other and only focusing on their desperate, aching yearning for relief to finally come.

And it comes suddenly, unexpectedly. It comes with a wild quivering and a loud moaning. Adam bites at Blaine’s lips, Blaine digs his nails into the bare skin of Adam’s hips. They both growl in pain and pleasure, and when it’s over Adam falls back against the wall, forceless, and Blaine only barely manages to grab the edge of the sink and cling to it not to fall on the floor.

Blaine hears nothing but their heavy breathing for an amount of time he’s unable to measure. The frantic gasping dies down gradually, as soon as they both can control themselves again. That’s also when reality kicks back in, and it’s particularly hard to bear.

“Adam—”

“Shut up,” Adam interrupts him, glaring up at him with eyes filled with hate and resentment, “Move.”

He doesn’t hit Blaine, doesn’t even touch him, but as he steps back Blaine feels his whole body aching worse than if he had been beaten.

“I’m sorry,” he says, lowering his eyes.

“I don’t give a fuck,” Adam says sharply, passing by him, “Asshole.”

Blaine hears the front door slam closed less than a few minutes later. He’s reasonably sure he’ll never see Adam again, and he doesn’t even know how he feels about it.

to be continued