ADAM’S HANDS’ LESS THAN EPIC ADVENTURES

10. “Need a place to sit?”

It’s been three years, already – it’s a sudden, almost amusing realization that comes to Blaine’s mind in a flash when he lays eyes on Adam’s tall and muscular frame as he walks inside Starbucks with a fancy white paper bag with silver handles held firmly in his hand and a satisfied expression on his face, a serene smile curling his lips upwards.

“Tall Vanilla Latte, please,” Adam says, leaning a bit over the counter as he reaches out to get his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans, “Walker.”

Blaine watches him move away from the crowd and looking around for a free spot where to sit as he waits for his order to be ready, and a small smile appears on his lips as he lifts an arm in the air, waving it a little to catch his attention.

Adam notices him instantly, and Blaine’s equally fast in noticing how his cheeks turn red under the short beard covering them. “Need a place to sit?” he asks, nodding towards the free chair at the table he’s occupying while sipping at his coffee.

“Hey,” Adam says, awkwardly sitting down and looking nervously around, as if he was scared to be seen with him, “Hey.”

“Hey,” Blaine answers with a small chuckle, putting his cup down and crossing his legs, “It’s nice to see you.”

“Yes!” Adam says, almost too enthusiastically, “Yes, of course,” he clears his throat, “God, I’m acting like an asshole. I’m sorry, it’s just that I didn’t expect to see you and you kind of caught me by surprise.”

“I can see that,” Blaine chuckles again, and then nods towards the bag, “Out shopping?”

“Uh?” Adam asks, following his eyes and then looking at the bag as if he had never seen it before, “Ah. Yeah, it’s a present. For Leo, you know.”

“His birthday’s in two days,” Blaine nods, “Is he doing fine?”

“Yeah! Yeah, great, of course,” Adam nods, “He’s fine. We both are, actually.”

Blaine can’t help but chuckle, tilting his head and arching an eyebrow. “Are you going to say it, or should I?”

Adam frowns a little, unsure on what Blaine could be talking about, and then frowns even more when he finally gets it. “You’re still the most unpleasant man I’ve ever met, I see.”

“Oh, come on,” Blaine chuckles again, reaching for his cup and drinking some more coffee, “Say it.”

“Okay, okay!” Adam snorts, crossing his arms over his chest and looking away, “You were right. We worked it out.”

“How surprising,” Blaine laughs, actually sounding not surprised at all.

“Shut up,” Adam growls, grabbing a paper napkin and rolling it up in a ball before throwing it at him. Blaine laughs, catching it and throwing it into the bin nearby. Adam looks at him and chuckles faintly, resting against the back of the chair and relaxing a bit. “You have no idea how embarrassed I am.”

“Really?” Blaine looks back at him, puzzled, “About what?”

“You have to ask that?” Adam laughs, “About the last time we met, of course.”

“Ah, don’t even think about it!” Blaine shakes his head, smiling warmly, “You shouldn’t be embarrassed about that. You were stressed and confused, whatever you said and whatever you did was because you couldn’t help it. I personally haven’t thought about it once since after you went away, so you should forget about it too.”

Adam quickly looks down at his hands resting on the table, a small, sweet and embarrassed smile lingering on his lips. “I thought about it a lot, since then,” he says, “The first couple of weeks weren’t easy, you know?”

“I can imagine,” Blaine nods, smiling too.

“No, I don’t think you can,” Adam chuckles uneasily, scratching his cheek, “I was really very sure about what I told you. I was, like, completely convinced I was right and you were wrong, that you were making a mistake and… I kind of missed you. A lot. At first,” he clears his throat, looking anywhere but him.

“It happens, Adam,” Blaine reaches out for his hand, patting its back as if trying to comfort him, “You don’t have to feel ashamed about it. We’ve all been confused and we all know what it means to feel lost and cling to the first thing we find just to try and keep ourselves from drowning. It’s alright.”

“Yeah,” Adam sighs nervously, though he’s still smiling, “I know. But it troubles me that I never thanked you properly. You’ve been more than kind to me, you’ve been patient and you respected me. Even when I made it hard for you to do so. So thank you— even if I realize it might be too late to tell you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Blaine smiles, “It’s not too late, but you didn’t have to. I’m just happy you and Leo are still together and everything’s fine between the two of you.”

Adam nods and smiles, looking up at him for a moment and then looking back at the counter to see if his order is on its way. Doesn’t seem like it is, and he turns back at Blaine, swallowing hard. “Um, how are you, then?”

“I’m fine, thanks,” Blaine chuckles.

“You seeing someone?”

“Not really,” Blaine shakes his head, “But then, you know me. I’m a free soul.”

“Can’t be tamed,” Adam laughs a little, looking down at his hands, “And are you happy?”

“I’m fine, Adam,” Blaine smiles, searching for his eyes, “Don’t worry.”

Adam looks at him and swallows, biting at his bottom lip. “You… didn’t happen to miss me too, did you?”

Blaine’s smile widens a little, and this time it’s his turn to look away. “Dangerous question,” he answers.

Adam holds his breath for a while. “I’d still like to know the answer.”

Blaine’s eyes are back on him instantly, and there’s no way Adam can read them now. They’re dark and full of regret and melancholy, but he has no idea who’s the subject of all this, because somehow he doesn’t think himself important enough to be the cause of all this, but somehow he doesn’t think it’s just Leo either. Must be a combination of things, must be time and memories and love lost and nostalgia.

He suddenly knows why Blaine wasn’t able to stay with Leo or him either. It’s got nothing to do with them, and everything to do with him. With this impossible man that never stops loving and caring for you, but that, at the same time, cuts every tie and disappears when he understands or decides it’s over.

They were over the moment he walked out of Blaine’s house. Just like Blaine and Leo were over the moment Blaine went away.

But still, this man with deep, enticing eyes, this man unshackled, this man alone, this man loves Leo. And could have loved him.

“I missed you too,” Blaine says in a soft whisper.

It’s moments, or maybe minutes, Adam doesn’t know, but they’re in the restroom, pressed against each other in the limited, small space, fumbling with each other’s pants, hungry hands prying and stroking as hungry lips bite and kiss and hungry eyes shine with curiosity and amusement. “Just once,” Adam says, chuckling like a kid and feeling like one too, “To the good old days.”

They both laugh at the silliness of the situation, as they finally manage to get their hands on each other’s bodies, stroking themselves together as they actually never did before. They’re doing it – and that’s clear to them both – only because it’s meaningless, only because it’s over, and only because it’s never going to happen again. It’s the goodbye they’ve both been missing, and it’s Adam paying back Blaine for everything he gave him and for winning the bet.

There’s not going to be any beer bought, and this time it’s almost sure they’re never going to see each other ever again, but Adam doesn’t feel bad about it as he did that afternoon, when walking out of Blaine’s home and into his and Leo’s seemed like willingly leaving heaven for the worst circle of hell.

He’s happy. He’s at peace. Blaine was right about everything, and it feels good to let it go.

They come as quietly as they can, terrified that somebody could hear them but at the same time not giving a damn if anybody happens to. Then they laughs, and they kiss, and they tidy up their clothes and walk out of the bathroom, still chuckling every now and then as they pretend nothing happened and wash their hands, before walking out of the restroom.

Somebody’s calling Adam’s last name, when he steps back into the hall, and he turns to look at Blaine, smiling apologetically. “That must be my order,” he says, “I’ve gotta go.”

Blaine nods, looking at him. “Take care,” he says.

He doesn’t say of whom, but Adam knows he means them both.

the end