ADAM’S HANDS’ LESS THAN EPIC ADVENTURES

5. “Can I draw you?”

Adam’s expression, the day after, is enough on its own to let Blaine know something’s different.

“My, my,” he says, standing on the doorway, his hands on his hips, playfully stopping Adam from advancing any further, “What’s with you? You’ve got the looks of somebody who just had Christmas, New Year’s Eve and Easter all wrapped up together.”

“Shut up!” Adam laughs, his cheeks turning pinker as he pushes Blaine back, “Let me in!”

“Only if you promise to tell me what happened!” Blaine retorts, moving aside to let him pass, “So I can do the same.”

“Like hell you’re doing the same,” Adam chuckles embarrassedly, as Blaine closes the door behind them.

“Ah,” the man smiles, leading him to the couch and sitting down, gesturing him to do the same, “I take somebody finally got what they wanted.”

“You can say that,” Adam laughs again. He seems unable to control himself.

“So?” Blaine insists, playfully hitting Adam’s shoulder with his fist, “Tell me!”

“Okay, okay,” Adam nods, turning towards him and settling more comfortably on the couch. “So, yesterday I had classes in the afternoon, so, after I run out of here, I rushed to school and turned my phone off. Leo hadn’t heard from me since morning, and he tried to call me, but of course I didn’t know that. The moment classes are over, I run back home, and there he is, pouty and bored and sitting on the couch surrounded with all those silly old comic books he knows by heart but still keeps reading when he feels not adored enough… and he’s to die for, I swear.”

“I bet,” Blaine laughs, “Was he half-naked or something?”

“He’s not like you, he doesn’t need to be half-naked to be sexy,” Adam points out. Blaine doesn’t say it out loud, but he remembers enough to know it’s true. “He was just… sitting there, all curled up in a ball, and his lips were all… you know how.”

“I do,” Blaine smiles.

“And his face, I mean, his eyes, you know.”

“Yes,” Blaine chuckles, a little sadly, knowing Adam won’t get it anyway, “I know.”

“And, I mean. It just happened,” Adam says, his voice dreamy as if he still couldn’t believe it, “It just happened and it felt so great. I was, like, approaching the whole thing in a completely different way, and he kinda felt it, I guess, because he moved differently too. It was so much more relaxing, so much more pleasant, I just let myself go with the flow and he did it too, it just felt so nice and… right,” he smiles, leaning back against the couch, “It was just right.”

Blaine smiles tenderly, reaching out to stroke Adam’s shoulder. “I knew it would—”

“Of course I refused to jerk him off and that kind of upset him,” Adam says, shrugging carelessly, “But I was good with everything else, so in the end he didn’t complain much.”

“What?!” Blaine almost chokes on his own breath, “Adam!”

“Well, you all can’t expect me to be perfect after less than a couple of weeks of training!” Adam snorts, crossing his arms over his chest, “I’m getting there, but I need time!”

“But you already did it,” Blaine points out, flailing his arms in the air in disbelief, “You already jerked me off, it was, like, the first thing you did after you walked in here!”

“Yeah, I know!” Adam glares at him, “I remember that! And I remember what you told me afterwards, which is why I didn’t do it with Leo!”

Blaine stares at him for a couple of seconds, bewildered and unable to understand what Adam’s referring to. “Don’t try and put the blame on me, Adam!” he complains, “I’m the one who’s trying to help!”

“I know! But you’re also the one who told me I needed practice,” Adam says, lowering his eyes in embarrassment, “Which means I’m not good enough yet.”

It takes him a couple of moments, but in the end Blaine finally remembers what Adam’s talking about, and he sighs. Sure, he told Adam he needed practice, but it was nothing but a joke. And even if it was serious, he could have never expected Adam to be influenced by it so much as to keep refusing to touch Leo, even when asked to do so.

“Adam…” he starts, passing a hand over his face. He contemplates the possibility to tell him that was nothing but a joke and send him back home right away, but if he did Adam would probably get so angry he’d punch him in the face. Blaine doesn’t want to be punched in the face. Being punched in the face is painful and can cause scars, headaches, even dental surgery if the case is bad enough. There’s no way he can afford to be punched in the face, right now – or ever –, so he decides to keep the real nature of his remark secret. “Alright,” he starts off again with a sigh, “I get it. You’re insecure, you need professional help. Luckily, I’m professional enough.”

“Yeah, nobody’s a better jerk,” Adam grins.

Blaine glares at him and punches him on his shoulder. “Shut up and watch closely, you ungrateful little twat. God forbid you might actually learn something, for a change.”

“Okay, okay!” Adam chuckles, lazily massaging his shoulder, “So, how are you gonna teach me, this time?”

“By combining the best model and the best teacher you could possibly find on the market,” Blaine smirks, unbuttoning his pants and lifting his ass up from the couch to pull them down his thighs.

“And I guess both happen to be you,” Adam says with a smirk, arching his eyebrows as he looks down at Blaine.

“Of course,” Blaine nods, “Easy, fast, clean. Only the best for my customers.”

“Stop trying to sound like a whore!” Adam bursts into laughing, slapping Blaine on his nape.

“Who says I’m trying?” Blaine retorts, pretending to be incredibly outraged, even though he’s laughing too. “Alright, now, stop messing around. Look at me, I’m going to show you how to touch men to make them feel good.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t decide to use me as a model,” Adam says, sticking out his tongue at Blaine, “I would have said yes, you just lost a golden opportunity to put your hands on me.”

“Oh, please,” Blaine laughs, “As if you’d stay lucid enough to actually listen to my advices if I put my hands on you.”

“Hey!” Adam playfully pouts, “I’m lucid!”

“Sure,” Blaine says, “Oh, Blaine, this was mind-blowing!” he goes on, imitating Adam’s voice, “Does that ring a bell?”

“Shut up!” Adam giggles, hitting him again, “Let’s get on with this.”

“Alright, alright,” Blaine giggles too, looking down as he lowers his underpants, uncovering himself. He’s not hard yet, but he doesn’t seem bothered by it. “Pay attention, now,” he says, and Adam focuses on him. It kind of surprises him to realize this is the first time he actually cares to look at Blaine, to really look at him, study his features, the shape of his cock, its length, its color, the way it gradually changes, getting longer and bigger, as Blaine carefully strokes himself. It’s absurd and ridiculous that, despite the countless occasions he already had to take some time to look at him, he never could be bothered enough to do it. It upsets him, in a way – he still doesn’t know which, and he’s still not sure he wants to.

“Is it gonna take long?” he asks, actually worried that Blaine could answer no. But Blaine glares at him.

“Are you complaining, already?” he growls, “Are you bored?”

“Not at all,” Adam answers, looking up at him, meeting his eyes with honesty.

Blaine’s so surprised by that look that, at first, he doesn’t even know how to take it. He frowns, trying to understand if perhaps he missed something he should have noticed before, but nothing comes to mind. “It’s going to take as long as it’s going to take,” he says, still looking down at Adam, wondering about the meaning behind that clear, straightforward gaze, “You have to learn the value of patience.”

“I’m not a very patient person,” Adam smiles apologetically, looking back down at Blaine’s hand, now firmly closed in a fist around his hard length, “I guess that’s why I’m not good at sex.”

“Patience doesn’t pay off that well, in sex,” Blaine considers, stroking himself slowly, as if he was still just warming up, “Love, though, that’s completely different.”

“Well, we’re talking ‘bout sex, here, though, aren’t we?” Adam chuckles, looking up again.

Blaine casts him a tender, almost compassionate look, smiling quickly. “You’re so stupid,” he comments with a small laughter.

“God, can’t you go on ten minutes without insulting me?” Adam frowns, offended.

Blaine laughs again. “I’m sorry, it wasn’t meant to be insulting. I kind of find that part of you amusing, even sweet. You just don’t get it, do you?”

“What?” Adam sighs, looking down at Blaine’s cock again, finding the way his slender fingers run swiftly over its length way more interesting than his face, now, “What is it that I don’t get?”

“You’ve had sex with how many people? Ten? A dozen? A hundred, a thousand?”

“Hey, now—”

“Leo’s not one of them,” Blaine smiles, interrupting him carelessly, “He’s the one you make love with.”

Adam looks up at him, blushing for a moment, and then looks back again. “What difference does it make?”

“That it’s not a quick fuck we’re talking about, here,” Blaine explains, holding his cock in his hands and letting it slide between his closed fingers, “You’ve got to go slow, you’ve got to be careful. You’ve got to be respectful, you’ve got to move not towards your own pleasure, but towards your partner’s.”

“So…” Adam asks, passing his tongue over his lips and then biting at them as he watches the head of Blaine’s cock emerge and then disappear between the man’s fingers, hypnotized by the movements of his hands, “It doesn’t matter if I like it? My first priority should be that Leo does?”

“The thing is, it should come natural, Adam,” Blaine smiles faintly, resting his head on the back of the couch as his strokes grow faster, pre-cum already starting to leak out of his cock, sticking to his fingers and making his whole length shiny and wet in the morning light illuminating the room, “And it will become, as it happened with taking care of yourself. You’ll see. Sooner or later he won’t have to ask for you to touch him. You’ll want to do it.”

Adam’s not that sure it’ll happen. There’s a voice, in the back of his head, that keeps repeating him that he hasn’t been made for this. That he’s not supposed to find this pleasant, or entertaining, or even intriguing and curious. He shouldn’t like this at all, but somehow it’s hard to remember just why he shouldn’t, as the moving images he’s seeing dive deeply into his brain, morphing into the only language of beauty he can understand, the one of static pictures, of vivid colors, of plastic positions that can stick with you for days after you’ve seen them.

Blaine’s cock is so hard Adam can almost feel it under his fingertips. Blaine’s fingers are closed so tightly around himself they almost shake with strain. The muscles of Blaine’s thighs are tense, his abs keep contracting and then relaxing, showing their outline through his fair, mildly tan skin and then disappearing leaving only a vague trace that Adam keeps following with his eyes even after it’s gone, like footprints in the sand that he knows are there, even though he can’t see them anymore.

Mesmerized, unwilling to control his own eyes, Adam looks up at Blaine’s face, and he’s forced to swallow hard, amazed, at the sight of the man’s closed eyes, of his relaxed features, of the plump, red curve of his lips, that he keeps biting and licking as he keeps stroking himself.

There’s something in the way Blaine moves, in the way he looks now. There’s a deep, fond kind of love for himself that leaks through his every gesture, and for once it has nothing to do with his hypertrophic ego or the absurdly, inconceivably fond opinion Blaine has of himself. It’s just tenderness, some sort of sympathy, a special kindness that Blaine imposes on his fingers when they’re touching himself.

A special kindness, Adam realizes just now, he felt on himself too, when Blaine was touching him.

Somehow, everything’s clearer, now. And he kind of feels stupid for not getting it before, but that’s something he’s starting to get used to, when around Blaine.

The problem is not in the way he fucks. There’s no never-heard-of technique Blaine can teach him, no special trick, no magical gift he can bestow upon him, that will make him a better lover. Only love can. The only thing Blaine can help him with, is to try and make him ready to let that love flow out of himself and over Leo. Try and make him comfortable enough with his body to embrace Leo’s, try and make him confident enough to do anything Leo could ask for without Leo having to ask at all.

When Adam’s eyes rise again on Blaine’s face, maybe it’s because for the first time he feels like he’s really seeing Blaine for who he is, he finds him so beautiful that his heart throbs violently. He’s almost startled by it, by the furious quake shaking his mind. Blaine’s lost, abandoned, exhausted expression as he comes teaches him more on its own that all the man’s words ever will, and it’s gorgeous to look at enough for the question to slip out of Adam’s mouth before he can even realize he wants to ask it. “Can I draw you?”

Blaine, who was still stroking and teasing himself slowly, even after his orgasm, stops moving abruptly, and turns to look at him with bewildered, surprised eyes. At first, Adam doesn’t even get why he should be so shocked by such an obvious question, because in his head that’s just what it is, an obvious question. Adam always draws the things he likes. It’s automatic for him, as it is drinking when you’re thirsty, eating when you’re hungry, sleeping when you’re drowsy. It’s equally natural and equally necessary, it’s an instinct he’s got to satisfy, there’s no other option, except obsessing over it until he can have it done.

So, that Blaine could look at him as if he didn’t even understand what he meant is something that Adam just can’t get. He keeps looking at the man, blinking, expecting him to say something, already. “Excuse me?” Blaine finally asks, standing up from the couch and pulling up his pants before he starts walking towards the kitchen sink to wash his hands.

Adam stands up too, following him around as if he was scared he’d disappear if he let him out of his sight. “Can I draw you?” he repeats, hoping for Blaine to get it already.

“I have no idea why you would ask something like that,” Blaine chuckles, drying his hands on a rug and then turning to look at Adam, an amused expression on his face and a hand on his hip, “And I honestly have no idea how to answer.”

“With a yes?” Adam tries, and Blaine laughs. “I’m serious!” he insists, then, “I mean, I liked the way you looked right there,” he says, pointing a finger towards the couch, “I want to capture that.”

“You should’ve thought about it while I was still jerking off, then,” Blaine smirks.

“I was busy!” Adam protests, “Looking at you, learning stuff. You told me I should pay attention, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” Blaine smiles fondly, “I did.”

“And I complied!” Adam nods, “I paid attention, and I actually learned stuff. So, can I draw you now? It’ll only take five minutes, I promise! I just want to sketch you, I’ll finish it at home, it’ll be over before you even notice!”

“Don’t you think it’s kind of weird, though?” Blaine asks in an uneasy laughter, passing a hand through his hair and then over his neck. Adam follows the movement as if enraptured by it, and Blaine notices. “Adam.”

“Please,” he just says, searching for Blaine’s eyes again, “I know what you’re thinking, and yes. That’s how I work. I see something I like, I can’t think of anything else until I get it on my sketchbook, and I liked what I’ve seen back there very much. I know it’s weird and really, I don’t mean to impose, but please. Let me do that.”

Blaine looks at him for a couple of seconds, sighing deeply as he drops his arm and then hooks his thumbs in the belt loops of his still unbuttoned and unzipped pants. When he sees Adam’s gaze following that movement with hungry eyes too, he understands there’s no way out of this unless he gives him what he wants, and nods. “Five minutes tops,” he warns him, waving his index finger at him, “I’ll count.”

Adam nods quickly. “Do that,” he says. He doesn’t understand, though, if it’s meant to reassure Blaine, or himself.

to be continued