BROKEN HEART SYNDROME
REPORT THREE: COGNITIVE DISSONANCE

Joining the McKinley's glee club hasn't exactly been Leo's idea.

Not that he doesn't like it. Of course he does. He has fun with the boys and the girls of the team, he likes to sing and dance, or else he wouldn't even bother showing up. Still, it's not like stage performing is what he lives for, and surely the fact that his two best friends, Annie and Adam, couldn't sing or dance for their life and were even forbidden to try again after they had failed their first audition (which Leo had forced them to undergo anyway) doesn't make him any more eager to spend more time in the auditorium than he already has to.

That's why he's always the first to stand up and leave when the bell rings and he can already spot Annie and Adam waiting for him in the hallway, and since that's what he has always done he never ceases to be surprised whenever Harper throws a fit every time she sees him walking away sooner and faster than everybody else.

Harper's the captain of the glee club, not to mention the reason why, if he had known about her from the start, he would have told uncle Finn to go and find somebody else to fill the spot left open after his previous male lead had graduated. She's the ultimate bitch, and Leo can hardly stand her. She’s got it all: the voice, the looks, the drive and the insufferable attitude of the girl who wants to be a star no matter what, and is willing to step on everybody else's needs to get there. She's basically everything he hates in aunt Rachel, without the money and the cuddling she usually provides whenever she's back in town. So there's basically nothing good about Harper, no good qualities Leo can cling to, to stop himself from dwell into a bottomless pitch of hate every time she opens her mouth with some snarky remark or complaint about him.

"Are you kidding me?!" Harper's high-pitched, filled with outrage voice reaches him when he's already with one foot out of the auditorium, his bag on its way to his shoulder, swinging down his side.

"What about?" he half-turns around, casting her a questioning look.

She looks so shocked, as if he had personally offended her or something. "You can't go now."

Leo arches an eyebrow, turning around to look at her. "Really, can't I?"

"Come on, Harp," Philip chuckles as he walks past the two of them and towards the door, "Give him a break." He's one of the back dancers. Out of here, he's the son of one of the best plastic surgeons in the entire state, his future's already been planned for him by his parents and he's cool with it, he likes the idea, he's looking forward to entering college, getting his degree and follow his father's steps, and at the same time he's cool with joining the glee club and just be a back dancer. Leo kind of respects his attitude, it must be hard for such a winner to settle for less, but Philip does it with a smile on his face, and Leo likes it.

"Yeah, Harp," he adds then, waving Philip goodbye, "Give me a break. And why can't you be more like him, anyway?"

"As in, a loser who flails in the back and nobody cares for?" she asks, her pretty features twisted in a disgusted face.

"As in, not an asshole," Leo corrects her, frowning.

"Now, now, kids," his uncle says, approaching them and patting them both on their shoulders, attempting to calm them down, "What's with the bad language? What's happening here?"

"Leo was just about to go away," Harper answers, "Already. Luckily, I stopped him."

Finn blinks a couple of times, his bewildered expression clearly showing what he thinks, which would be that sometimes he has no idea how to deal with Harper because he just doesn't get her, very much like he never really got Rachel. "What do you mean, can't he go? Rehearsal's over."

"Yeah, my thoughts exactly," Leo says, happy to know his fathers probably didn't tell his uncle about the Blaine disaster yet. If they did, he wouldn't be acting normally, now.

"We had agreed we would stay here another hour or so after rehearsals, to prepare for Regionals!" Harper protests, her hands on her hips, her left foot tapping nervously against the tiled floor, producing a rhythmic clicking sound that's making Leo nervous.

"By agree," Leo points out, struggling to keep himself calm, "She means she decided, ignoring the fact that I had already told her I didn't want to, and then she just expected me to comply. Too bad, Bitchland Princess, I've got other plans."

"Leo!" Finn turns towards him and frowns sternly, "You kiss your father with that mouth! Stop it. And you stop it too, Harper," he adds, turning towards her and shutting her up before she can even start to complain, "We’ve still got a couple of months before Regionals, we've got all the time we need to rehearse appropriately and there's no need to stay here late or to overwork ourselves. You wanna rehearse harder, fine, but do it for yourself and on your own, don't force the others to do the same if they don't want to."

"Fine!" she scoots over nervously, outraged and angered like every time she feels she's been disrespectfully mistreated, "Whatever. Do what you want, but remember, it won't be my fault when we get kicked out and sent back home at Regionals already!"

She storms out the next second, before Finn can try and calm her down, and Leo watches his uncle as he rolls his eyes and sighs in resignation. "I've gotta go after her..." Finn says, whining a little as he pictures what a struggle will be to bring her back to Earth from the tip of Mount Anger, where she just climbed. "Why do you always have to fight? I swear, sometimes I think if you keep fighting like that, you'll be married before you're out of school."

Leo instinctively makes a face, backing off as if feeling threatened by the mere allegation. "Never gonna happen," he says, shaking his head. His uncle adds something about kids never understanding how these things work - as if he had a clue about it, instead - and then walks out of the auditorium, following Harper's steps.

Leo sighs, says goodbye to the others and walks out into the hallway, at the end of which Annie and Adam are already waiting for him. Adam's leaning against the wall, next to the door, and he looks as bored as he can be, while Annie gracefully stands next to him, her arms relaxed down her sides, the fine line of her slim, fairytale princess-like body wrapped up in a pretty light blue dress with a huge satin bow that goes all around her waist and falls on her right hip. She looks unreal, actually too beautiful to be true, with her long, barely wavy red hair falling down her pale bare shoulders and those incredible piercing sky-blue eyes. When she's next to Adam - who's, after all, the picture perfect of what people imagine to be Prince Charming, with his blond, wild hair, his strong and masculine features and his deep brown eyes - sometimes Leo stops to stare at them in awe, which is something he rarely does. Those two are beautiful enough to make him, and usually, when the three of them are walking down the hallways together, they catalyze everybody's attention. No wonder they're so popular.

"At last," Adam snorts when he spots him in the crowd of students ready to leave the building, "Your lateness stopped to be fashionable twenty minutes ago."

"Sorry," Leo chuckles, reaching them and then walking out of the school by their side, "I've been held up."

"Harper, I suppose?" Annie asks with a light smile.

"Who else?" Leo snorts, rolling his eyes to the sky as they walk down the street, towards the park they usually hang out in a bit before heading each to their own home.

Annie chuckles, grabbing Leo's arm as she walks. "We've seen her running away from the auditorium, she seemed upset. What did you do to her?"

"You mean what did she do to me!" Leo corrects her, outraged.

"Oh, come on, you're always angry at her for a reason or another," Annie chuckles again, "It's never what she does, it's her in general."

"Yeah, you're right, it's 'cause she's alive and that's enough for her to get on my nerves," he nods, more seriously than it's needed.

"Being alive is enough for everybody to get on your nerves, Leo," Adam points out with a resigned sigh. Leo lifts a hand a slaps him on his nape, while Annie lets out an amused laughter.

They keep walking for a little while, as they see the huge green spot that the park is grow bigger and bigger with every step they take. Annie talks non-stop about the classes she's been to, and this gorgeous young and single math teacher she apparently can't stop thinking and fantasizing about. Adam calls her a wannabe-slut as he always does whenever she starts talking about men she'd do or things she'd want men to do to her (not to mention the ones she'd like to do to them), and she doesn't even bother getting upset about it, since she knows Adam, with his artistic, late '800 gentlemanly soul, sees every woman as a pure, stainless, divine masterpiece, and he hates that Annie, instead, seems to have been created just to spit on everything he believes in.

Leo listens to them talking, then quarrelling, then make peace and mock each other. He smiles and nods and seems to follow their casual chit-chat, but he's clearly elsewhere, concentrated on his own secret thoughts, since he listened to Annie talk about the teacher, 'cause of course the situation reminded him of Blaine.

"Come on, Leo, spit it out," Annie grins as she sits down on one of the pretty wooden white-painted benches on both sides of the main path that cuts the park in two, "What's bothering you?"

Leo lets himself fall on the bench right next to her, dropping his bag on the grass as he lets out a deep, nervous sigh. "What makes you think there's something bothering me?"

"Oh, come on," Annie answers, chuckling as she elegantly covers her mouth with her hand, mimicking some sort of royal demeanor she only pretends to go by when she feels like mocking everything her mother and father raised her up to be, "You've been silent all this time," she explains, gracefully crossing her long legs, the embroided lace hem of her petticoat showing off in the movement, "And you almost never are, especially after you had a fight with Harper. You like to rant for hours about her."

"You like to rant for hours about everything, actually," Adam points out, throwing his backpack on the ground next to Leo's as he sits down on the bench too, hitting Leo's side with his own to make him move and make room for him, "Thank God you're not into politics."

Leo glares at them both, crossing his arms over his chest. "What now, can't a guy have a moment of silence? Okay, maybe this time something actually happened to me, I'll give you that, but it's not like every time I don't speak it means something's bothering me, you know? I can be quiet when I want to."

"No, you can't," Adam says, shaking his head, Annie's laughter quickly following his words.

"Come on, Leo," she encourages him, "You'll have to tell us, sooner or later, anyway."

As he thinks about it, Leo realizes this is not going to be easy, not at all. Of course he wants to tell them, there's nobody he'd like to talk about it more than he'd like to do with his best friends, he just doesn't know how. Especially since what exactly happened - except for the act itself - is not clear to him either.

"Alright, fine," he gives up with a sigh, "Do you remember Blaine?"

"How could we not?" Adam answers, rolling his eyes, his shoulders bending a little, giving in to the weight of what he pictures the next three hours to be, with Leo endlessly and pointlessly whining about this man he's been hating since he was a kid for random and ridiculous reasons. "I'm telling you, Leo, if this is another rant on how awful he is and how he almost ruined your dads' wedding, this time I'm gonna suggest you get hospitalized. This obsession can't be healthy."

He couldn't be farther from the truth, and yet, at the same time, closer to it.

"It's... definitely not that," Leo admits, swallowing hard as he searches for the words to explain the situation. "The fact is, I kinda... had sex with him, last night."

"Wait, you what?" Adam blurts out, his head instantly turning towards him, his eyes growing wide as he fixes them on Leo, unable to process what he just heard.

"You what?!" Annie echoes, looking for a moment just as shocked as Adam is, and then bursting into a surprise and disbelief-driven laughter. "But he's, like, what? Forty? Forty-five? And you dared to say I was weird 'cause I like mister Hartnell!"

"First of all, Blaine's thirty-five," Leo nervously corrects her, finding himself ridiculously eager to get this fact straight first, as if it made all the difference in the world - which, sadly, it doesn't. "He's one year younger than my father," he adds then, trying that too, hoping it’s enough to clean his guilty conscience. Doesn't work either. "And anyway," he concludes with a sigh, "I don't like him the way you like mister Hartnell. I don't drool all over him. That's why you're weird."

"So what, you didn't even drool over him, but you had sex with him? Wow, that escalated quickly," Annie protests, pouting a little, "I still think we're equally weird."

"Wait just a second," Adam interrupts them, waving his hands in the air as if trying to clear an invisible fog, clouding his thoughts, "What do you mean you had sex with him?"

Leo frowns, looking at Adam as he tries to keep his patience. "Adam, what do you think it means?"

"I don't know, you tell me!" Adam answers, standing up and moving a couple of steps back and away from the bench, staring at Leo with incredibly and unjustifiably troubled eyes, "Like, I don't know, was it like... the real thing?"

"Yes," Leo answers straight away, not even taking time to think better about what he says, finding himself working a lot better with direct, easy, straightforward questions, "We went all the way on my couch."

"On your what?!" Adam spits out, his features twisted into a shocked expression, "You don't even have a couch that's yours! You have no couch in your room!"

"Aren't you missing the point a bit, Adam...?" Annie asks, unable to hide an amused laughter.

"Well, we were in the living room," Leo shrugs, "He was getting ready to sleep there, 'cause since Tana's been born we're lacking a spare room. I came back home, I hated on him and then it just happened."

"Wait, what?" Annie laughs again, incredibly amused by the complete lack of logic in Leo's sentence.

"But you had just spent hours at my place talking about how much you hated him!" Adam points out, staring blankly at Leo's face as if he couldn't get it, "This makes no sense!"

"I know! I know," Leo answers, "I wasn't planning to go back home and have sex in general, let alone with him, but it happened. I mean, he was coming out of the shower, when I arrived, so I look at him and tell him he should get dressed, and he says 'my privates are covered', you know, and he starts playing it cool like he always does. You know how, don't you?" he asks, almost desperate for some sign of approval, or even forgiveness, or maybe just his friends telling him they understand that he had no other choice; whatever to try and stop thinking the huge mess that blew in his hands last morning could be his fault too.

His friends, though, show no sign of any of that. Adam's too shocked to conceive a single rational thought, and Annie just keeps looking at him, her lips curled in a small, curious smile, her eyes shining with interest, but there's no compassion in there. And after all, why should there be?

Leo rests his shoulders against the back of the bench, sighing deeply. "I just... I don't know. I acted like I didn't care for him being half-naked and everything, but... I did. And then he did it, he just... he asked me when it started. And I swear... I couldn't believe he had said it."

"When it started?" Adam asks, his eyes even more lost and confused now, "When what started?!"

"When he started liking boys too, dumbass!" Annie rolls her eyes, casting him an unbelieving glance.

Adam turns to her, staring at her for the longest moment, and then stares back at Leo, the rest of his body standing completely still as he had no strength to move anymore. "You like boys too?"

"Well... yeah," Leo answers, trying not to show how awkward he feels, being stared at like that, "I mean, I think so. I've been finding some of them attractive, lately, and now this, so..."

"But... when did all this happen?!" Adam almost screams, turning to Annie again, "And how did you know it?!"

"Uh, I dunno," she answers honestly, blinking at him a couple of times, "I have eyes...?"

"It wasn't that obvious!" Adam says, "I didn't notice!" Annie raises her eyebrows, looking at him. It has recently started to be kind of obvious, indeed. And if Adam hasn't happened to notice, it's most probably because he's dumb, or blind, or both. Her eyes make this clear better than any word could, and suddenly Adam feels overwhelmed with a rush of anger and bitterness he himself couldn't explain the reasons if he tried. He turns to look at Leo, and when he talks he's not screaming anymore. "It wasn't obvious at all," he says, but he doesn't believe it. He's just hoping Leo manages to find a way to tell him it really wasn't, but he doesn't. 'Cause he can't.

"It's okay if you didn't notice," he says instead, offering him an apologetic smile, "I didn't exactly make an announcement."

"Yeah, but..." Adam shakes his head, backing off again, and as Annie looks at him, suddenly more seriously than she's ever done, he bends over and fetches his backpack from the ground. "I've gotta go," he says then.

"Adam!" Leo calls out on him, his eyes wide, "Come on, man, are you kidding me?"

"No, really," Adam shakes his head again, "I mean, don't take it wrong, I'd like to talk about it. Actually, you know what? We definitely have to talk about it, so you'll call me later. But now I've gotta go, I've got... things to do. Somewhere. With... some people. But totally call me later, 'kay? 'Kay," he concludes, nodding to himself more than he's doing at Leo, before he just turns around and runs off.

Leo points his feet on the floor to stand up and run after him, but Annie places a hand on his arm, keeping him still. "Let him go," she says, shaking her head and then throwing a resigned glance to the sky, "I swear, you're both even dumber than you look. It's embarrassing."

Leo sighs, crouching his shoulders and hiding his face behind both his hands. "Great..." he whispers, before letting out a frustrated growl.

"Now, now," Annie smiles sweetly again, patting Leo on his shoulder, "Don't worry, he's just shocked because he's been knowing you since you both wore diapers and yet he managed not to notice what was happening. He'll get over it," she nods, leaning in to hug him. "Now, tell me what the hell happened."

"I don't know," Leo sighs again, leaning against her shoulder, "I mean, it went exactly as I told you, it was that easy. Does this say something about me? I mean, after all he only had to ask. He asked that question and something... something unlocked inside of me, you know? I wanted to talk about it, maybe I... I even really wanted to try. So, when he said I could try and kiss him to see how it affected me... I said yes."

Annie covers her mouth with both her hands, trying to muffle an excited laughter. "Now, I can't lie, this sounds both incredibly sick and incredibly hot, but after all hot things tend to, usually. He's the Broadway actor, isn't he? Broadway, not really my thing. I don't think I've ever seen him, how does he look like?"

"He's... average height, I guess, I mean, he's taller than me, now, but shorter than both my dads, so..." Leo lets his eyes wander away from Annie's features, the image of Blaine's face and body surfacing so easily in his memory, "He's got black curly hair, strong features, golden eyes. He always dresses sharply, like, all the time."

"Like he's supposed to be always ready for some fashion show?" Annie asks in a small laughter.

"Yeah, exactly!" Leo nods, "He's like... always perfect. Even in the middle of the night, sitting on the couch in the living room with only a fucking towel on, he was perfectly at ease. He's so irritating."

Annie chuckles again, looking indulgently at him as she reaches out to stroke his curls. "I think you probably like him more than you know. How was his cock, magic?" she adds, chuckling mischievously as she elbows him lightly in his ribs.

Leo chuckles too, massaging his side even though Annie didn't really hurt him that much. "Cumbersome, mostly."

"Then I can see why you like him," she laughs, "But, really, how was it? I'm pretty curious."

Leo tries a smirk, but somehow he ends up just smiling dumbly, and it's all he can manage, right now. "It was good, actually. Better than I thought it would be. I mean, everybody say that first times sucks, so considering I was having mine with him I was expecting it to be shitty, but... it wasn't. He wasn't so annoying, in the end."

Annie smiles, getting from how Leo's lips curl upwards all the information she needs, and way more clearly than she could by just hearing his words. "So, what is it now? Is it, like, a thing? You two?"

"Of course not," Leo instantly answers, frowning at the mere thought. He seems to be wanting to add something else, but Annie doesn't let him.

"And what about your parents?" she asks, "Do they know?"

Leo sighs, looking down in shame and sadness at the thought of the scene that happened in the bathroom yesterday morning. "It was supposed to be a secret, but... my dad kinda caught us. And hell broke loose."

"Your dad what?!" Annie backs off a little, looking at Leo with clear concern in her eyes.

"Yeah, you heard me," Leo sighs, "He freaked out and started chasing him around. He was so angry, I swear I thought he would kill him. They even wanted to call the police."

"Oh my God..." Annie says, reaching out for him to hug him, "I'm so sorry, Leo," Then she looks up at him, and when she speaks again Leo's mind goes blank. "Are you alright?" she asks.

No one has asked yet. Not his parents, not even Blaine.

He hugs her back, hiding his face against her neck. "I think so," he sighs against her skin, "I mean, it was pretty bad and if they had let me talk then maybe it could have been better, but... he didn't get arrested and they didn't send me abroad, so I guess I'm gonna call it a success."

Annie smiles a bit, rubbing Leo's back up and down, as if to comfort him. "What now, then?" she asks, "Are you saying it was just a one-time thing and you're never gonna see him again and everything? Actually, maybe it'd be safer," she nods to herself, pondering.

"Actually," Leo says, looking away in embarrassment, "We might have decided that he'll let me know when he comes around Lima again."

Annie looks at him with her blue eyes wide open for a little while. "Like... Okay, Leo, I'm confused, here," she gives in with a small laughter, "You like him, but you hate him. You don't have a thing with him, but you're gonna see him again. What's... actually going on? Honestly?"

Leo backs off a little, crossing his arms over his chest as if to protect himself from Annie's inquiring eyes. "I just like to have sex with him, that's all. Does it have to be something else?"

"Of course not!" Annie shakes her head, "I wasn't implying anything, I was just trying to understand what’s happening. You're saying it's basically like a friends with benefits thing... without the friendship part."

"Yeah," Leo nods vaguely, "Something like that. I mean, this is the only one thing in which I don't find him utterly irritating and unbearable, and it gives me pleasure too. Why shouldn't I go with it?"

Annie nods eagerly. "You're right," she says, "As long as it's safe."

But what if it wasn't, he thinks to himself, as he absent-mindedly nods at Annie, his eyes already drifting away from hers, What if I don't want it to be safe, what if it really wasn't, then, what if I wanted to play this dirty, to actually risk something, what if I just want to fall head over heels in this, put myself in danger, what if I, just once, just this time, wanted to try and make a bet on my own skin?

Would it still be okay if I wanted to do it regardless of any consequence?

He doesn't tell Annie this, though. Would be pointless, she probably wouldn't understand - the things Blaine does to him, what he's always done to him, how wild he always drove him, the only difference being that it was just rage before, it's something else now - she would just be worried, and Leo doesn't want her to worry. She's been already kind enough bearing with him like that up to now.

So he just tells her what he knows to be true, somewhere deep inside himself. He tells her he trusts Blaine, somehow. If not with everything, at least with this.

"Then I hope it goes well," she says then, smiling sweetly, "And of course," she adds with a playful smile, "You'll have to tell me everything!"

Leo gives in to a relieved laughter, casting a thankful look toward her. "Why doesn't this surprise me?" he asks, and then shakes his head, looking up at the clear sky of the early afternoon, "You already know more than I do, Annie."

"Well, I know a lot," she nods, "But I'm still quite inexperienced about the real deal. Now, finally, I have someone to whom I can ask whatever I want about the proper act before I do it too!"

"I didn't exactly do it as you will, Annie," Leo chuckles, shaking his head, "I mean, unless... but I don't really think you're gonna start with that."

"I'm not talking about the mechanics!" Annie laughs, slapping him playfully on his shoulder, "I'm talking about the experience as a whole! I mean, for example, how does it feel to... you know. Be so close to somebody else."

Leo looks down, smiling a little. "It's... overwhelming," he says, his cheeks turning a brighter shade of pink, "Like, for one moment there's nothing else, literally. You can't feel anything beside the other's touch. So, when it's over, it's good, of course, but then you wake up and it's reality again."

Annie looks closely at him, her eyes clearly showing that, if she already had her doubts about Leo not being emotionally involved with this man, somehow, her doubts are quickly turning into certainties, if she lets the way he talks about him be of any indication about how he really feels. She smiles and hugs him without telling him anything, though, because she knows that, if he told her it's nothing more than sex, he had his reasons to, and she isn’t going to get anything, especially not right now, if she insists on questioning him about that. "Seems great," she says, patting him on his back, and then she withdraws, dramatically letting herself go against the back of the bench, letting a sound whine out of her lips, "Man, I hope I'll find someone worthy of a shag soon too. The more time passes, the hornier I get! I swear, God have mercy of the first guy that manages to get me into bed."

"I don't know about God, but I'll have no mercy for him," Leo chuckles, "If he's not perfect and worthy of you, I'll kick his ass. And if he's too big, I'll have Adam kick it for both of us."

Annie laughs, hitting Leo's shoulder with his own. "Mind you," she says, "It's a promise."

Leo smiles, and leans in to kiss her on her forehead. "You can bet it is."

*
Later that day, Leo is at home.

Kurt's taking care of dinner downstairs and Dave is trying to get a very grumpy Tana to have a bath. By the high-pitched screams she lets out, he's not being very successful and the chorus of her crying and spitting and being hysteric is going to continue until someone manages to put her to sleep. Leo has been wearing his headphones since it started half an hour ago, and he can still hear her. Sometimes he wonders why his parents wanted so bad another little screaming monkey after they were finally free of the first one. He can swear there's nothing good in her. She is just annoying.

Leo doesn't really like children, especially toddlers like his sister. They are always dirty, screaming and they have the tendency of being hungry, sleepy or needing to be changed when you're busy doing something else. Sometimes they are all those three things at once and, no matter what you do, they're crying anyway. How can someone want to have something like that in his life for, like, five or six years? He doesn't get it. Sometimes he talks about it with his best friends, but they can't understand him. Anne is a girl – and they seem genetically predisposed to love every puppy of every species, except maybe for spiders – and Adam thinks babies are funny – his words – and always offers to babysit his little cousin Devon when he gets the chance, and not only because he needs money, but because he likes to, which is simply out of Leo's comprehension.

One time that he was bored to death and he didn't really have nothing else to do – not even homework – he has accepted to babysit with Adam and he still remembers that as the most dreadful evening of his life. Devon was three at the time and he would not stop talking as loud as his little lungs would let him. Adam would tell him to speak more quietly and he would for five minutes, and then go back to scream again. Leo wanted to suffocate him with a pillow, but Adam just laughed and seemed to find really funny how Devon was constantly mumbling in the highest voice ever. Besides, Adam didn't even freak out when the kid just threw out something like all the meals of the previous week on the carpet of the living room. At that point, Leo decided that babies were no fun at all and there was no reason why a perfectly sane person should have wanted one of them. They had spent the rest of the evening scrubbing the carpet and the floor with the stain remover while Lil' Son of Satan – finally free of all the food he had ever eaten and probably some internal organs too – fell asleep in his bed, peacefully as if he had not just repainted the living room.

Thinking about Adam reminds him what has happened this morning.

As usual, some very coward part of his brain has been ignoring his best friend's reaction all day like it has never happened. He can't deny that there's something disappointing and utterly scary in the way Adam has just dismissed the news and run away. It's not like he doesn't know Adam and the way he thinks. Leo is perfectly aware that Adam has some very strong ideas on certain subjects, especially on sexuality and people behavior. He doesn't like the way Annie lives with her body and her needs, for example. He thinks that she should be more prudish about them. He's not intolerant – that is he doesn't really fight with her or think of her less – but he doesn't approve at all. Now, he has never been bothered by people being gay – he has basically spent the whole of his childhood in Leo's house, watched by Leo's fathers because his single mother had double shifts at the hospital – but Leo is afraid that him being gay looks way worse to Adam than his parents being so.

He has felt a little rejected in the way Adam has looked at him after hearing about it. He kept apologizing and saying everything was okay just in the way you do when nothing is okay at all but you don't want to say it aloud. Leo is wondering if Adam feels in fact betrayed somehow. Of course, Leo wasn't sure he liked boys until lately, and he has not purposely hidden the notion from Adam for whatever reason. In the beginning, he was completely clueless. Later, he had some doubts and just waited to be sure, which kinda happened with Blaine – but not completely – and he did said it to Adam then.

What if the problem is not even that? What if Adam feels betrayed for all the times they have showered together or they have changed clothes in front of each other? Leo knows that that's just plain stupid – even if he likes boys too now, he doesn't mean he likes all the boys or that he looks at them all in a sexual way – but he can see Adam feeling tricked somehow because he did certain things with him without knowing he was bisexual. He wouldn't strip in front of a girl – not even Annie – or have a naked shower with her, so he probably wouldn't want to do that in front of a boy who likes other boys.

Leo's naturally very touchy. It doesn't take long for him to get mad at someone for even the smallest thing. He feels hurt very quickly; and it's funny how easy it is for other people to misuse him when he almost never cares for other people's feeling. So, the idea of Adam not being completely accepting of him upsets him more than it should do at this time when they haven't even spoken to each other about it and this is all just Leo's supposition, but this time the fear of losing Adam over this is bigger than his irritation about Adam's reaction. He can't even stand the idea that it could happen.

So, he grabs his phone and calls him. If anything, they're at least gonna talk about it long and hard before Leo lets him being scared or whatever of him. He doesn't need to dial the number or even search it on the address book of his cellphone. Adam is on speed-dial even before either one of his fathers, Leo being convinced – as any other teen – that nothing can happen to him and if he will ever have a problem, it will be of a nature that only his best friend can resolve.

It's six in the afternoon, so football training is over and Adam must be walking back home. Leo knows Adam's schedule like is own. Actually, he knows it better because, unlike him, Adam is very timely and always does the same things at the same hour of the day. It takes Adam three rings to pick up. The fact that he does pick up is a good sign for Leo, but Adam's voice sounds a little shaky, and this is not a good sign at all.

“'sup?” Adam says, not so casually as he'd like.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Leo asks, trying to be casual as well. He fails. The very beginning of this conversation is extremely uncomfortable and forced. Adam knows why he's calling and Leo knows precisely what Adam's doing. The pink elephant watching them both right now trumpets annoyed.

“Going home,” Adam answers, predictably. “You?”

“I'm doing math.” What follows is a long awkward silence, during which he actually colors the inside of the loops of all the eights in his book with his pencil. “Listen, about this morning...”

“It's not like I'm not okay with it,” Adam says right away as if he expected him to accuse him. “I was just caught off guard.”

“I know that,” Leo lies. Well, he didn't know a few minutes ago, now he does. So, it's not really a lie.

“Why didn't you tell me?”

Leo sighs. He pushes himself away from his desk and lets the spinning chair transport him to the bed, on which he falls with a huff. “I didn't know.”

“You didn't know you were gay?” Adam asks.

“I am not gay, Adam. I'm bisexual.”

Leo can feel Adam frowning even from there. “Isn't it the same?”

“No, it's not!” Leo whines, covering his eyes with an arm. Then he realizes that they're not discussing semantic and the only problem here is the gay part of bisexuality. “Okay, maybe it is, in this case,” he concedes.

“Yeah.”

“I wasn't sure,” Leo says again. “I didn't want to tell you I like boys if it wasn't true.”

“And you thought that telling me you did it with that man was a better way to introduce me to the idea?”

“Well, at least at that point I knew for sure,” Leo chuckles.

Adam isn't laughing. “Leo...”

“Okay, okay. I'm sorry,” Leo stop laughing but his smile still pours through the phone. “Listen, it's not like I wanted to keep you out of it. I swear. But wouldn't it have been strange if I had taken you aside to talk with you about feelings and stuff? Come on! We don't do that! You're still the first person I told what happened.”

“I wasn't exactly alone, you know?”

Annie's situation is a little weird. They both like her very much. She is funny, she is smart and she is different from all the other girls they know, but she showed up one day coming in between them – so to speak – when it had been just the two of them since kindergarten. She accidentally broke a balance. Leo is not aware of that, at least not at a conscious level. If asked, he would say he considers her part of the group without a doubt. In reality, some aspects of his behavior towards Adam tend to exclude her completely. To Leo, it's automatic to sit on Adam's side at lunch or at the cinema, to call him first when he has to invite them out, to ask him and not her what they are doing in the week end. She's only supposed to tag along. At least Adam is well aware of the situation. To him, Annie is more than okay, but he consciously acts like the two of them come first.

That's why he is so much more upset than he should be.

“I didn't plan on telling it like that,” Leo sighs. “I wasn't going to make an announcement either, but... listen, you two noticed something was wrong. You asked. I answered. What was I supposed to do? Tell her to go away? That would have been rude.”

“I suppose so,” Adam mumbles.

Leo sighs. “Adam, I'm sorry. Okay?”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Are you still mad at me?” Leo inquires, hanging there like from Adam's answer depended his life.

“Never really been,” he mumbles.

Leo smiles. “Good. Now, talking about me being--”

“I told you I'm okay with that,” Adam says.

“Yeah, well, maybe you should at least let me finish, so your calm and adult reaction to the news can look more real,” he says, sarcastically.

Adam frowns. “Yeah, go on.”

Leo realizes that he doesn't really know what to say. Everything that comes to his mind seems stupid or unnecessary. It's like telling him that fire burns or water is wet, it's not like Adam's stupid or something. Leo just wants to make sure Adam is really okay with having him around even if he likes boys too. “Adam, I don't want you to feel awkward when I'm around,” he says, hesitantly. “This thing doesn't change anything. You know that, right?”

“Yes, I know. I told you.”

“Because I had the impression you were scared, when I told you,” Leo continues, remembering Adam's expression when the news came out.

“I wasn't scared!” Adam says, as outraged as a straight fifteen years old boy should be; which, in their own private teen language means that he was indeed scared. At least for a moment.

Leo sighs. “I won't jump on you in the locker room only because now I like boys too,” he says it like a promise.

“I know that,” Adam says. “You wouldn't enter a locker room for your life, anyway.”

Leo doesn't get the joke and frowns. “You know, it's not like I'd jump on every girl I see!” He pouts. “Being bisexual or gay or whatever doesn't make you a sex addict or a beast!”

Adam chuckles. “I was joking!” He exclaims. “Relax. Geez, who's the jumpy one, now?”

Leo keeps pouting just for the sake of it since Adam can't see him. “Asshole.”

“Love you too,” Adam chuckles, again. “Listen, I didn't take it too well on the spot, that's true. But that's because I hadn't seen that coming--”

“Hadn't you? Really?” Leo says. It still amazes him how oblivious to the whole thing Adam has been. Leo wasn't sure to be bisexual either, but he was sure his doubts has poured quite clearly through the glances he was casting left and right to some guys at school. He was sure his best friends would notice sooner or later, but apparently only Annie had and she was kind enough to wait for him to tell instead of asking.

“Yeah, really. I'm not Annie, I don't spend my time daydreaming about boy-on-boy stuff. Now those strange glances you were giving Hadley make sense – how could you like Hadley, anyway? That guy is a jerk! – but back then I didn't really care for them. It's not like I think gay every time a dude looks at another dude. Not seriously, at least. It's not the first explanation that comes to my mind.”

“What's the first, then?”

“That you hate someone,” Adam says right away, as if he actually had a real theory about Leo's way of looking at people. In fact, he has one. “Usually you don't care about anyone around you, unless you hate them. You'd rather have people come to you and make you a compliment than bother to watch out for other human beings. If you do, it's because you want them to know you hate them.”

“Wow. You really looked at me a lot.”

“I didn't have to. I know you.”

Leo smirks. “Yes, and you still didn't notice anything strange in me!” He teases him.

Adam rolls his eyes. “Alright, I confess! I didn't notice!” He exclaims with resignation. “Will you ever let it go?”

“I might be forgiving if you were willing to come with me to the comic shop, tomorrow.”

The sound Adam makes is alone worthwhile. “Oh come on, Leo. That place's in Findlay! It takes an hour to get there!”

“It only takes an hour,” Leo corrects him, cheerfully. “It takes seven to get to Cleveland. Consider yourself lucky.”

“Just to get this straight,” Adam snorts, “I wouldn't wake up before ten o'clock on a Saturday morning to take you to Cleveland for a fucking comic book even if you turned out to be an alien.”

Leo laughs. “Right. But you're coming with me to Findlay, aren't you?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Nope.”

Adam sighs as he has been doing for the past twelve years when dealing with him. “Thought so,” he says, resigned. “Gotta go. Mom must be home by now. Tomorrow. Ten o'clock. Bus stop. If you're only one minute late, I'll come to your house, kill you and then go straight back to bed. Are we clear?”

“Crystal clear. See you tomorrow.”

Leo closes the call and smiles. Everything went better than expected. He has said it aloud, his friends know. Adam doesn't hate him and he managed to guilty trick him into going with him to the comic book store. Nothing could be better than this.

Which is exactly why, when the phone rings a couple of seconds later and he reads Blaine’s name on the display, he lets himself go to a cheery laughter, taking some moments to bask in this new kind of feeling before answering. There’s excitement and a little bit of fear, and arousal, and confusion, in the way his fingers kind of shake as he holds the phone up, looking at Blaine’s name flashing on the display, and in the way he could not for his life wipe that smile off his face.

He’s never felt like this, never in his life. He doesn’t know if he should, if this is the right way to feel about what’s happening or if he’s just seeing too much into it, but he can’t help himself. Not now, at least. He probably just doesn’t want to.

“Hello?” he answers, turning on his stomach on the bed.

“Well, hello,” Blaine’s voice is low, flirty, it instantly sets the mood of the call. Leo likes this about him. That you can always be sure he’ll take care of the circumstances to make them just as obvious and clear as he wants them to. It’s easier to deal with embarrassing situations if you at least are clearly confronted with what they are and what is actually happening. “Took you long enough to answer.”

“I was busy,” he answers, trying to keep his cool. It’s not easy, though. It’s exciting to hear a grown up man as experienced as Blaine is flirting with him. He’s used to high school girls flirting, but this is different. It’s a whole new thing.

“Were you now,” Blaine chuckles, the sound of his voice coming softly through the phone. Leo closes his eyes and suddenly it’s all around him. “I just called to make sure you were alive and your parents hadn’t confined you on the highest tower of the castle or something,” he says.

“I’m alive and I haven’t been grounded,” Leo giggles, trying to contain enthusiasm, “I’m rollin’.”

“That’s good to know,” Blaine says. Leo can almost feel his smile on his own skin. Being with him changed his perception of things. “I figured, after a couple of days, it was time for me to call.”

“To call,” Leo bites at his bottom lip, excitedly, “What for?”

“As if you didn’t know,” Blaine small laughter melts down Leo’s spine, giving him shivers all over. He doesn’t notice instantly, but his body’s reaction is quick, and after a little while he finds himself pressing his crotch against the mattress, undoubtedly aroused. He chuckles at himself, feeling stupid and exhilarated all at once. “I’ve got a room at the Holiday Inn,” Blaine says softly, “Do you think you could find a way to sneak out of the castle and come find me, little princess?”

“Okay, first, I’m nobody’s little princess, let alone yours,” Leo laughs, shaking his head as he passes a hand through his hair, “And second, do you even realize how wrong is it for you to just call me and flirt with me and invite me over at your hotel room to have sex with me as if it was completely normal?”

“Why, isn’t it?” Blaine jokes. Leo just laughs, and Blaine’s laughter echoes right after. “I know, I know. What can I say, though? I won’t force you to come over, and I won’t press to meet again if you prefer us to part ways. Still,” his voice grows considerably softer, “I’d like to see you.”

Leo holds his breath for a second, trying to contain his smile before it grows out of his face. “Let’s see,” he says, “I may be able to be there around dinnertime. You could be my friend Annie. She’s good at science, she always helps me study when I’m in need.”

Blaine’s answer doesn’t come if not after a couple of seconds of electric stillness. “And are you in need now?”

The real meaning of the question is clear enough to have Leo blush wildly. “Yes,” he whispers breathlessly. He can hear his own heart throb in his chest, it makes such a noise that it fills his ears completely. But Blaine’s voice comes through it easily, piercing through the noise to reach him despite his confusion.

It’s just his laughter, at first, but it’s enough to break the tension, let it flow away. “Alright, then,” he says, “Do I have to wear a wig and speak in a falsetto voice? Just in case your parents call to check on where you really are.”

“It’s too soon to wear wigs while we’re together,” Leo chuckles, “Let’s leave some kink for the future. The real Annie will play her part.”

“We’re set, then,” Blaine says calmly, “Ask of me at the reception, they’ll tell you where to find me.”

“Even if I’m just fifteen and you’ll look like a sex offender?” Leo mocks him, and Blaine answers with a soft chuckle.

“I’ll tell them you’re my little brother,” he says, “Better?”

“Ew, Blaine!” Leo makes a face, “I’m coming ‘round to have sex! Don’t put images in my head. Besides, what if they notice something’s wrong? We don’t look like brothers at all.”

“Actually,” Blaine muses, “We kind of do.”

“You’re too old to pass as my brother, you dumbass,” Leo chuckles, “More like my father.”

“This family’s getting complicated, all of a sudden,” Blaine chuckles, and then sighs. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure to pay them well enough that they don’t need to notice anything wrong with you, or us for that matter.”

As he feels his stomach tie up in knots, Leo lets another smile surface to his lips. “Do you really need to go through all this trouble to get laid, Anderson?” he says, the sound of his own voice surprising him first.

“Now,” Blaine smirks, and Leo can hear him move on the bed, the soft sound of silk sheets sliding against his skin as he shifts position, “What do you want to hear from me? That I could go and ask the first person I meet to come have sex with me, knowing he’d say yes, but I do all of this because I just want you?”

He does. God, of course he does. “Of course not,” he chuckles, shaking his head, “It’d be pretty lame if you did. I was just wondering how desperate you must be.”

“Mmh,” Blaine’s voice is soft, lower than before, hypnotic, “Let me think about it. To touch you again, to kiss you, to lay you on the same bed I’m lying on right now…” he smiles softly, and once again Leo can feel it as if he was smiling on his own lips, “Yes, I’m pretty desperate, if I have to tell you the truth.”

The sound of Blaine’s voice, combined with the words he’s saying, forces Leo to stop for a moment, close his eyes and try to actually calm down. There’s some sort of physical pain, a deep sense of frustration, a numb tension making his limbs ache, that’s taking possession of his whole body. He’s never had a very vivid imagination, but Blaine’s voice triggers him greatly, it draws pictures in his head, and as much as he likes what he sees it’s something that’s also making him uncomfortable, uneasy.

Then he realizes he’s aching to be touched, and for the first time since he entered puberty all the gears fall into place, and the machine of his body starts running smoothly. He’s horny. He’s hard. He wants to be touched, and Blaine’s convenient. Convenient and good, God, so damn good.

“I’ll give you one reason to fear my coming,” he says in half a whisper, smiling, “I have high expectations, now, you know that, right? And you will have to live up to them.”

“Oh, please,” Blaine laughs, mocking him, “You’ve got to be kidding me. Do you have any idea of how you looked like last time I saw you, in that bathroom? How can you have high expectations, if you’d have gone crazy for just the slightest touch of my finger?”

“Shut up,” Leo snorts, turning on his back and crossing his legs, a hand lazily resting on his stomach left half-uncovered by his movements, “We were in the bathroom and it was morning and I was… let’s say sleepy. But if I come there, I expect you to be pretty unforgettable. It could be our last time, y’know? I won’t settle for less than the first time, if anything I want something better. You know, all the trouble I’ll be going through just to get to your hotel room,” he smirks, feeling the warmth of his own skin under his fingertips, “You better be ready.”

“Just to make it clear,” Blaine chuckles, “I find terribly wrong that we had our first time two days ago and that today could be our last already. This will be the shortest affair I ever was in, I should formally complain with your parents about that.”

“I wouldn’t do that, if I were you,” Leo laughs, “Dad’s gonna kill us both for this. Or maybe he’ll settle for killing you and just hate me, I don’t know. Should we test it?”

“We definitely shouldn’t,” Blaine chuckles, and once again Leo can hear him – almost feel him – shift positions on the bed. “So, what did you tell them? How come they didn’t ground you? Or are you indeed ground and lying to me about it, you insolent kid?”

“I’m not lying and I’m not grounded,” Leo snorts again, pouting a little because he liked Blaine better when they were flirting, surprisingly enough. He doesn’t want to talk deep feelings and emotions with this man. He actually couldn’t care less for deep feelings and emotions, that’s not what he’s in it for. “And I didn’t tell them anything, Kurt just asked me why you of all people and why couldn’t it be kids my age and so on. You know, the usual. I had to promise him I wouldn’t see you again, ‘cause apparently I could go fuck half the students of McKinley High School and he’d be fine with it, as long as none of them is you.”

Blaine laughs, and Leo almost hopes he doesn’t speak again. His voice is way more pleasant when it’s not formulating actual words. “That kind of makes sense, actually,” he says. “So you promised him you wouldn’t see me again?”

“I had to,” Leo shrugs, “I’ve got the feeling he’d start hating me if I insisted on this. I can’t afford it, maybe I’m still in warranty and he can give me back if I’m not satisfactory enough.”

“Now, now,” Blaine says, laughing a bit, “I’m sure your dads would never, never do something similar. They’re just scared, I suppose, because I’m older than you. Well, a lot older than you, as a matter of fact. I have to admit I’d probably be scared too, if I were in their shoes. Luckily, though, I’m not,” he adds in a small chuckle. “So, you promised them you wouldn’t be seeing me again, and yet here we are, talking about meeting later. That makes us a tragic couple of lovers from a sad romance novel of the last century. I actually find it kind of entertaining, it’s like roleplaying.”

Leo’s not sure Blaine’s right when he says his fathers wouldn’t give him back if they had the chance to. They can’t, so they probably won’t, but now that Santana’s here and they’re already so caught up with her, one mistake on his part would probably be enough to lead them away from him completely. Not that he needs them anymore, at this point, he’s grown up enough no to need his daddies to come to the rescue and pester him all the time, but still. Maybe they just like Santana better because she’s related to them – at least to one of them – or maybe they just want to try again, since their first parental experiment apparently didn’t come out very well.

He doesn’t want to discuss this with Blaine, though. That’s not what Blaine’s there for.

“We’re not a couple,” he says, frowning. He can hear the sound of his voice changing, getting darker, deeper. He knows Blaine will notice. He doesn’t know how he does it, he doesn’t even know how he can be so sure about it, but he is.

And so, when the sound of Blaine’s voice changes too, and he asks him “Do you happen to feel alone, sometimes?”, he’s expecting it, but it still hurts. In some silly, stupid way that he can’t really understand. It’s not like Blaine can touch him, or better, it’s not like Blaine can touch that trunk buried deep inside himself where he hid all those things that were better put aside not to be seen anymore. He hasn’t given him that kind of permission, so Blaine can’t see those thing, he can’t touch them, they’re safe and locked away.

But he does feel alone. He does feel put aside, he does feel forgotten, unheard, misunderstood. It happens a lot.

He just prefers not to talk about it. With Blaine, of all people.

“That’s none of your business,” he says. And he knows that, if Blaine doesn’t change subject right away, he’s gonna interrupt the call and probably never see him again.

But Blaine chuckles, and it’s like switching the lights on. “Alright, alright,” he says, “We’ll have time to talk. Some other day. If I live up to your expectations.”

“Well,” Leo smirks, relaxing on the bed again, “That’s up to you, Anderson.”

“Oh, I’m a very confident guy, if you didn’t notice,” Blaine answers.

Leo giggles lightly, turning on his belly again and settling his pillow under his chest to lean on it. “Alright, so, tease me. What’s in store for tonight?”

“A-ha,” Blaine chuckles, “No way I’m telling you now. You’ll have to find out yourself.”

“Oh, come on,” Leo whines, “Not even a hint? I mean, I deserve it.”

“Excuse me?” Blaine mocks him in a faint laughter, “Why would you think you deserve anything? I can’t think of a single reason.”

“Shut up,” Leo growls, “I just want something to keep me going until tonight.”

He can feel Blaine smile on the other side of town. “That’s sweet,” he says, “And yes, I think it calls for some kind of recognition. Well,” he sighs, overdramatically, “Let’s see. What about… uh, you know, my room has a great, great view.”

Leo arches an eyebrow. “Really?” he asks, not really knowing where Blaine could be going with this. He had expected something different, something on the line of ‘you know how I’ll be waiting for you when you come, tonight? Completely naked on the bed’, for example. What does Blaine think he could care about the looks of his room?

“Yes,” Blaine says. His voice is deep enough to make Leo forget everything about complaining. “There’s this big window, and you can see the whole city through it. I guess we could use that, wouldn’t it be great? I could press you against that window and as I slowly…” his voice suddenly sounds even deeper, “Slowly thrust inside of you, you’d feel like you were having sex in the sky, with the whole city at your feet.”

Leo gulps, shifting uncomfortably on the bed. “Can we actually do that?” he asks, uncertainly, “I mean, is it possible without anything to lean on?”

Blaine laughs softly, and there’s a tenderness of some sort in his laughter. “We can do whatever you want, kid,” he says, “Let’s say tonight you’re free to ask for anything. If something crosses your mind, you tell me, and I’ll give it to you. I’ll give it all to you.”

“Yeah…” Leo says, uneasily, “That’s the thing, see, I don’t know exactly what you can… You know,” he swallows and then clears his throat, “Do. Didn’t we already do everything we possibly could?”

“As a matter of fact,” Blaine laughs, “There’s a lot of things we still have to try. For example, you didn’t ride me.”

“I didn’t what?”

Blaine laughs again. “Exactly.”

“Would you stop mocking me, already?” Leo pouts. He doesn’t know if Blaine’s playing with him, speaking with that voice and almost making him crazy with excitement one moment and then making him feel stupid and ridiculous the moment after. It’s upsetting, Blaine shouldn’t feel free to act like this. He shouldn’t let him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Blaine chuckles again, “You don’t have an idea what that could mean?”

“I don’t know,” Leo shrugs, embarrassedly, “Half the things I heard of honestly didn’t even seem possible.”

“Oh, really?” Blaine smiles, “Then, you’ll probably be happy to know that most of the things you’ve heard of are not only actually possible, but also very pleasant.”

Leo closes his eyes, sighing. He lets his free hand slide down on himself, barely touching his crotch. “Right now, almost everything would sound pleasant, I tell you.”

“Poor thing,” Blaine smirks, “Are you hard?”

“As I am, most of the time,” Leo snorts, “I’m fifteen, remember?” he ends up chuckling, his hand moving slowly on himself.

“You jailbait,” Blaine laughs. Somewhere in Leo’s brain there’s the knowledge that Blaine shouldn’t call him that. He shouldn’t feel so at ease with the idea of flirting so shamelessly with a teenage boy. But then, he probably shouldn’t feel so at ease while flirting with Blaine either. And yet he does. So maybe they’re both wrong, and they can be weird together. Leo finds the thought strangely comforting. “I assume you’re touching yourself, right now,” Blaine says. Leo looks at his own hand that moves carelessly, as if it was alive with its own will, and says nothing. “Your voice sounds naughty.”

“It does not,” Leo whines, palming himself through his jeans, “And I’m not.”

“You are,” Blaine chuckles, and Leo sighs.

“Maybe,” he concedes, “Just a bit.”

“Why don’t you do it properly, instead?” Blaine asks, his voice inviting, hypnotic, “What are you scared of?”

Leo frowns lightly, his fingers slipping past his pants’ waistband and reaching down for his hard-on. “I’m not scared of anything,” he says, trying to believe it.

Blaine smiles. “Aren’t you?” he asks in a soft whisper, “And yet, you seemed pretty scared to me, on that couch. You were trembling all over. You were shaking even the morning after. And I think your hand’s all shaky even now, isn’t it?”

Leo breathes in, closing his eyes, his teeth sinking in his bottom lip. “…Just a bit,” he admits, but his fingers are closing in a fist around his cock, and he’s already stroking himself.

“Think of my hand covering yours,” Blaine whispers softly, “It’s not shaky, and it’s holding you firmly enough. It helps you move your hand up and down slowly, and you go with it.”

Leo moans in frustration, his back arching a little as he feels himself getting harder under his own fingertips. “It’s gonna be a mess, here,” he whispers, a faint smile curling his lips upwards as he moans in a low voice.

“That noise you just made,” Blaine hisses, the sound alone enough to cover Leo with goosebumps, “It sounded so dirty. Do it again. Louder.”

His cheeks turning pinker, his breath growing heavier, his grip around his cock getting stronger, Leo complies. “Like this?” he asks, his chest moving quickly up and down to the pace of his labored breath.

“Yes, like this,” Blaine’s voice sounds troubled, to Leo’s ears. Rough and low and deep, frustration leaking through every word. Leo’s almost sure Blaine’s not touching himself, his voice sounds almost angry, as if he was willingly restrain himself from jerking off. Leo’s not an expert, but he knows fooling around like this over the phone should go both ways. Somewhere in the back of his mind, there’s the scary knowledge that he’s shivering and shaking on this bed, his hand around his cock, jerking himself off just because Blaine asked, while Blaine, troubled by arousal as he is, still manages to keep himself together and is not even touching himself with a finger. There’s something terribly wrong, something terribly unbalanced in this, but God, this feels so good. Blaine’s voice just feels so good. “I’m so hard,” Blaine says, and Leo’s mind goes back to the burning, overwhelming feeling of his cock inside himself, thrusting and digging deep inside his body. He bites down hard at his lower lip, moans and gasps escaping incessantly out of his mouth, “I’m even harder than I was last time.”

“I don’t think that’s even possible,” he says, his hand moving faster all around himself, his thumb passing over the head of his cock, teasing it shamelessly, his mind alive with memories of Blain’s lips closed tight around his length, and his tongue, and his sucking, and the hot wetness of his hungry mouth.

“It is,” Blaine says, his voice darker than before, “I wish you were here, already.”

“Yeah,” Leo whispers, his back arching, frustration and pleasure getting mixed up in his mind. His hand feels good, but not nearly as good as he knows he’d feel if Blaine was holding him in his arms. “Me too,” he says, and his voice almost breaks, his hips moving restlessly to follow the lead of his own stroking.

“What would you do?” Blaine’s soft voice barely manages to reach him in the lust-filled place he’s hiding in inside his head, “What would you do if you were here?”

“I…” Leo gasps hard, his eyes struggling to stay open as he feels himself giving in to the mounting pleasure, “I… I don’t know,” he whines. He’s not used to play this game, and as much as he likes it, not knowing what to do, or how to do it, makes him feel stupid. “I would push myself against you, I guess.”

“Just that?” Blaine asks, a mocking smile clear in his voice, “And wouldn’t you want to see how hard my cock is?” he goes on, his voice now caressing and soft again, “Wouldn’t you want to feel it inside of you?”

“Of course I want that!” Leo almost yells, letting out a frustrated moan. He closes his eyes, his mind crowding with dirty, vivid images once again. “It would be your mouth, first,” he says, while in his mind blooms a perfect picture of Blaine dropping on his knees in front of him, “Then your fingers,” he goes on, almost feeling the firm but delicate touch of Blaine’s fingers on himself, “And finally,” he whispers with some sort of relief, pleasure pooling in his belly, letting him know he’s gonna get what he wants soon, “Finally your cock,” he says through gasps and moans, an amused smile surfacing on his lips, “If I manage to survive all this.”

A deep, wild moan escapes Blaine’s lips together with a laughter, and the warm sound lingers in Leo’s ear for a long time, making him feel proud. He forced that out of Blaine. He’s not completely helpless. He has a power too.

“And wouldn’t you maybe want to try and find out how my body tastes?” Blaine says, his breath heavy, his body unnaturally still as he resists the urge to touch himself.

Confusion instantly darkens Leo’s mind to the thought of actually get down and taste Blaine. There’s a vague, faint curiosity in the back of his mind, but it’s completely hidden out by fear and awkwardness. Wouldn’t it be strange? Wouldn’t it be weird? Blaine does it, sure. But does he have to, too?

“I…” he tries, though it’s hard to speak now that his orgasm is so close it’s almost painful, and he just wants to get it over with, “I don’t—”

And that’s when somebody knocks at his door.

For a split second, Leo doesn't understand what's going on. The sound he just heard doesn't fit with the mental image he's currently having or the general feeling of what he's doing. Then, his father's voice pierces through his fantasy, destroying it. He can even see Blaine's glass image breaking into a million pieces behind his eyelids, followed by the horrifying realization that he's not going to come now, which on the threshold of an orgasm is the worst feeling of all.

“Leo?” His father calls again. Dave's low voice is uncertain and questioning, but at least he doesn't seem on the verge of bursting in. Anyway, this doesn't stop Leo from looking at the door with sheer horror in his eyes.

“Shit!” He scrambles up, pulling up his pants as he balances the phone against his shoulder. His voice automatically drops to a whisper when he speaks to Blaine. “I gotta go. Dad's here. I'll see you later.” Then he hangs up and tries to be as natural as he can be, answering his father's call. “Yes?”

On the other side of the door, Dave doesn't seem to notice the amount of time it took him to answer. He probably thinks Leo had earphones in his ears or something. That wouldn't be the first time. “Can I come in?”

“Just...” Leo is fidgeting around the bed as he tries to put himself together. No matter the danger behind the door and the embarrassment, his outraged erection is still making his presence painfully known, as he could do something about it right now. Leo tries to think of granny – hoping Carol's image can dismiss the faint traces of Blaine's – but he only manages to make himself sick, so he just stops and fumbles with his pants to hide it a little. “Wait a second.”

Dave refrains from leaning on the door, but he comes really close to it. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. I'm fine.” Leo gives one last look at the room, as if his phone call with Blaine could have left any physical traces on the bed he was lying on other than on his body. But the room is messy as it always is. Nothing seems more out of place than usual, so Leo thinks it's safe to open the door. “Hi,” he waves at his father, the other hand stuck in the pocket of his pants.

“Er... Hi,” Dave feels kind of uncomfortable. They haven't been speaking much in the past few days – they have barely greeted each other on the way in and out of the house – and since the last time he exchanged more than two words with his son was right after the incident, now it's awkward for Dave to look Leo in the eyes. Luckily, his son seems to have the same problem. “Look, can we talk for a moment?”

Leo knew this moment would come, but he was honestly hoping it would come later. He had Kurt's lecture already, so Dave's was obviously due too – but he really doesn't want to hear Blaine's name right now. “Yes... um... sure,” he says and opens the door completely, inviting his father in. “Grab a spot somewhere.”

Dave watches Leo as he crawls back on his bed, which is more of a nest, actually. A place where he puts everything he needs, that he has recently used, read or watched, or for which there's no other place. Dave sits on the bed too, since the only chair in the room is covered in clothes. “How many years have passed since the last time you cleaned up this mess?” He asks, looking around.

“Actually, it's been only a week,” Leo says. “Daddy wants me to clean it up every Monday.”

Even though that statement doesn't even begin to describe the act of terrorism that takes place at the beginning of every given week, when Kurt shows up with a vacuum and threatens to throw away anything that at the end of the day won't have a proper place. Leo is forced to push everything in the wardrobe once a week to save his various collections, and he dreads the day his father will find out about it.

“Then how come it's already this messy?” Dave arches an eyebrow, retrieving an action figure from under his leg. “It's just Thursday.”

“It's not messy. It's creative.”

Dave laughs a bit. “Yeah, sure,” he concedes. Then, he becomes serious again. “So, I talked to your father and he told me about... the conversation you had the other day.”

Leo shifts uncomfortably, something that he seems to do a lot these days.

That conversation with his father was awkward as hell, let alone irritating – as most of his conversations with Kurt are, lately. He is not sure why Dave is bringing this up again. Kurt seemed okay with the lies he has told him, and honestly Leo thought his parents talked about it that night. “Um... yeah?”

Dave has never been the father who talks about feelings. That one is Kurt. Dave's the dad who taught him how to ride a bike, who plays football with him – even if Leo has lost interest in this sport when he was ten or eleven – and who will give him driving lessons as soon as the right moment comes. He is not supposed to be facing this kind of problems, especially if a 35 years old man is involved.

“Well, he told me you haven't invested much in this...” Dave tries to find the right words to say it and it's not easy. “...this thing that unfortunately happened with that man.”

Leo doesn't know what happened, exactly. So thing looks like the right way to put it. That's how he calls it anyway. “If you mean that I'm not in love with him, I'm not,” he confirms. He's a little tired of having to repeat this over and over again. It's easy to ignore that awkward feeling that comes when speaking about what happens, if he doesn't have to acknowledged it. “It was what it was.”

Dave nods. “That's exactly what I meant,” he says. “He also told me that you're alright with not seeing him ever again, which is very fine by me.”

Leo doesn't like to lie to his parents. He does, if he has to – it's not like he feels morally obligated to be truthful to them. After all, he is fifteen – but it's not something he takes pleasure in, and he has lied more in these past few days than in his entire life. Luckily, his father doesn't give him the time to answer and keeps talking.

“You know, Leo,” He says, “I want you to understand that I'm not going to interfere with your experiences in any way. I'm just worried for you. I... I think you should be free to do whatever you want with your body, if what you're doing is safe. And Blaine wasn't safe at all. But, him put aside, I'm with you whatever you want to do.”

Kurt has said the same things to him, so either they don't talk with each other or they really just want to repeat the same concept over and over again, hoping that will help him understand that Blaine is evil. It's highly ridiculous that their biggest problem is Blaine, and not the fact that he's 35 years old. That always comes after, only when they understand that Blaine being Blaine is not an issue for Leo. Not that Blaine's age is an issue. Leo is not in love. Leo doesn't want a relationship. Leo just liked the sex with him, and he'd like to have some more of it, possibly within the next six hours. Anyway, if a No, I don't need to see him anymore can make them both give up the fight, he can give them that.

“I know, and I'm not here planning a wedding,” he says, accurately choosing his words so not to lie again. “So you can stop hating me, now.”

“But I don't--” Dave sighs, realizing that walking away after the mess and never really talking to him until now could have given to his son that impression. He reaches out and brushes his hair, tenderly. “I don't hate you, Leo. You're my son. My heir. How could I ever hate you? I was just angry and worried and I couldn't understand, but I never, never hated you, and I will never hate you, come what may.”

Leo doesn't look very convinced. Besides, he strongly believes in his own theory about return policies for adopted children. “Even if I do something you don't like again?” He asks. He's actually testing the waters, but his father just thinks he's talking about what has already happened.

“Of course, buddy. I may be angry and disappointed, but love? That's a whole different thing. That lasts forever.”

Leo wasn't expecting him to say that he would give him back – he rationally knows Dave can't do that, but that's beyond the point – but it's not like he really believes his father, anyway. He knows Dave just gave him the answer he was supposed to give, like he himself is doing. So he gives his father a half smile, and then he pauses. “Dad?”

Dave is smiling too, happy of this father-son moment. They have hardly enough these days. “Yes?”

“Daddy told you everything we said?”

“Well, more or less. I think he spared me the dirty details, if you gave him any.”

Leo giggles. His father's face is priceless as he tries not to think about dirty details that weren't given to him but that are now showing up in his mind anyway. “I didn't, but I confessed something to him,” he says. “And he just didn't seem to think it was a big deal.”

Dave arches an eyebrow. That does sound like Kurt, indeed. His husband is a sweet creature, with the annoying habit of casually dismissing things he doesn't believe in. “What would that be?”

Leo doesn't know why he's telling this again. Maybe because this was an important thing for him and Kurt didn't even listen to him. One father out of two who actually bothers to hear him out would be nice. “I think I like both girls and boys,” he explains. Saying this doesn't make him nervous, but the answer he could get actually does. “And first he said I'm just confused, than that it's just an excuse gay guys say to feel normal, but I don't feel that way at all.”

“Oh, God.” Dave's exclamation is resigned and spontaneous as he rolls his eyes. “You know, Leo, your father is a wonderful man. He's strong and smart and confident and beautiful, but he's stubborn, too, and most of all, he's a dickhead when it comes to bisexuality.”

Leo understood that much, but it doesn't make sense to him. “I don't understand,” he shrugs. “If he likes boys, why I can't like both?”

Dave nods, with resignation in his eyes. Leo can only imagine how many arguments like that he must have had with Kurt. “Yeah, your aunt Santana tried so hard to make him understand, but I guess that if she failed no one will ever make it,” he sighs as the the image of Santana giving up on Kurt and walking away as she mumbles in Spanish, forms in both his and Leo's heads. “He's just... you know, a lot of gay guys just happen to think you can like boys or girls, whatever stands in the middle is just a lie, or a way to feel less strange. I don't think that's right. I think you are who you are, whoever you like.”

That's comforting. It makes Leo feel better knowing that at least one of his fathers doesn't think he's saying stupid things. Also, this gives him the cue he needed. “So you won't mind if I go see a girl for a change, tonight?” He asks, smirking.

“I don't! I'm actually very happy if you do so. Do it,” Dave instantly says. Apparently, anything is better than Blaine. It doesn't even matter who this girl is. If Leo played it well – and he really didn't want to go to Blaine's – he could have gone away with everything.

“Thanks. It won't be so romantic, though. Annie is trying to make me get at least a C in biology, so...”

“Oh, now I'm almost disappointed,” Dave laughs. “Here I was, already imagining how beautiful our nephews would be.”

Leo makes a face. “Don't worry, it's too early for nephews.”

“Believe me, this makes me very happy,” he sighs in relief. The last thing he needs right now is teen pregnancy.

“When the time comes, your nephews will be beautiful and you'll have an entire football team of them. I promise,” Leo says, thinking that it's safe to promise his father that. After all, he might be okay with having children in twenty years.

For a moment, Dave is too busy imagining himself as he coaches his own football team composed by just his nephews, to answer. Suddenly, life is wonderful again. Then, he remembers that it's still year 2031 and hopefully they all have a long way to go before this fantasy can become real. “So, when do you have to go?”

“We're having dinner together and then study.”

Dave nods again. “Alright. Do you need me to come pick you up when you're finished?”

“No!” Leo says quickly. “Don't worry. She'll drive me home or I'll take the bus.”

Dave – as well as Kurt – is very protective, so the idea of his son walking around the city alone after dinner doesn't go well with him. It's ironic how the worst thing happened to Leo so far was at home. “What if you stays overtime and it's too late to come back come alone?”

“As I said,” Leo insists, throwing random books in his backpack, “She can drive me home. And if not, I can stay there. There are several guest rooms in her house.”

Dave still doesn't seem convinced, but the one Leo's giving him is a valid argument and he can't argue with that, so he nods. “Just make sure you let me know what you do”, he says. “Do you need me to drive you to Annie's? Your father can stay with Santana.”

God, why can't his father just leave it and be okay with the fact that he can walk to Annie's on his own? Especially when Blaine's hotel is way closer than Annie's one hundred millions dollars house? “No, that's okay, I can take the bus,” he says, smiling as reassuringly as he possibly can. “You stay with dad. You know how he gets when he has to take care of Tana alone, if she's grumpy. You don't want him to feel abandoned. Do you remember last time?”

Dave shivers at the thought. He went to the match with Leo for two hours and he had to sleep on the couch for almost a week, because Kurt felt that he had been left alone taking care of their baby girl and acted like Dave had left for good, making a single mom of him or something. “You may be right”, Dave agrees. “Okay, then. Just call later, so I know where you're gonna spend the night.”

Leo smiles. “I will,” he says, looking like the most innocent guy in the world as he zips up his backpack full of books he won't need at all. He waits for his father to leave the room and close the door again, then he sighs in relief. He wasn't really expecting to go away with it. But if he managed, then he can do everything.

He gives his bed one more loving look.

He's gonna resume what he was doing in another bed, in another room and not alone. He smirks, both stupidly embarrassed and excited. Then he grabs his backpack and he's off to Blaine's.

to be continued